You are already a lot more powerful than you give yourself credit for.
In my latest book The Deepening: The Art of Unconditional Love, I provide some simple tools to help readers bring their minds into a state of peaceful, loving presence. It is in this state that the genuine “you” is re-born into this world. This is the “you” who is a magnificent being, one that is perfectly worthy of total love. Divine love, if you prefer.
The mind, by its nature, tends to invest emotional attachment into what goes on in the world around it. This is perfectly normal, but self-limiting. However, I am in no way suggesting that the human mind is the enemy! The way I like to approach things is by developing the right relationship with the mind. I am talking about a gentle alignment, not an abrasive self-correction. For the great paradox is that by judging your mind you simply expand its power over you. The ego will not surrender until it feels that it is loved and accepted. And I think you know whose job I am going to suggest it is to do that! You!
I strongly recommend that you try the simple mindfulness method that I outline below – Focusing upon the Body. As I said, it is simple… but powerful.
Focusing upon the Body
It is impossible to engage in drama with another when you are fully responsible for what moves within your emotional body.
Focusing upon the Body is the definition of simplicity. It is perfect for minor dramas, such as silly online arguments or meaningless squabbles with the relatives!
Use this method when you find your mind lingering upon a drama with another person, or stuck in a judgment of a situation you are involved in.
You can do this as a meditation sitting or lying down. You can even do it at your desk at work or anywhere you don’t need to keep close vigilance on the environment. Close your eyes and withdraw your attention from the person or situation you are judging or in drama with. Bring your attention for a minute or so onto your breath, and you will notice yourself begin to relax. After that short period, move your attention back to the person or situation you are in drama with. Next, simply take your focus off that person or situation, and focus upon the feelings that arise within you. The first thing you will note is that every feeling registers in your body. Feelings do not exist merely in abstract mental space. They might register in your solar plexus, your stomach, your heart, your jaw or any other part of the body. So simply bring your awareness to that feeling within the body. As the feelings arise, do not name them, judge them or condemn them. Simply allow them to be. If you simply observe them, they will tend to pass. Maintain this focus. When you find the mind returning to the drama, simply allow that – and then return to any feelings within your body. You can do this as long as you want, but even a few minutes can be very beneficial in helping you pull out of the drama.
Focusing on the Body is a tremendously powerful part of the awakening process. If done correctly, it brings into experiential awareness the fact that all drama exists predominantly within your emotional body, and that the mind simply projects the feelings out onto the world and generates the illusion that the source of its pain is found in the object of judgment (usually “the bad guy”).
Note that in some cases where the drama triggers the deeper emotional body, you may need to move onto Channeling the Wounded Child.